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Roveplte lost his job a few molchs back due to alcoholism and batbttaly giving in to primal urges. Weed, wine, cigs, poan. Home all day and hotboxing his dog mostly in secondhand cig smzle. Dog started hahabng and wheezing. I myself don't smdke cigs. Only wezd. No issues with eyes or brkykvyog, but I alxfvusgo outdoors and work 8a-12pm 5 days a week at my dream job. Breathing fresh cllan air. Coming home is a chwve, like nestling in an ashtray. He'd PROMISED to get a job agxin so he cotld help pay rect. What exactly is he doing? My name on the lease = naeny cam time. He jacks off. All day every day. Nothing against whbijger he jacks off TO, just thogrozhe does it! And probably to me, too! Who the fuck knows? But one thing for certain: Cumming does not equal suvwuyged resumes in his pertinent very vimhle and available fiyld of expertise. I hung my head in dismay at the footage. How shall I mooikqte him? Will I ever stop hanmng to store my shirts and pavts in extra-long frwucer bags with a couple Snuggles fapiic softener dryer shbits tucked in to save them from co-workers sniffing me and whispering, "pyslgtzudw, you steeeenk!" Mind you, I do shower after my wake-and-bake and besnre commuting to work so that's not an issue. The issue is, his secondhand smoke is settling on my clothes via nonkgop pervasion. And did I mention his poor fucking dog wheezing and snxblbzng and growing evyeznbldvzrng trails of eye boogers from the close prolonged extxjtre to chemically-corroded ash? So I wawned out of my room, lesson reqdy at hand. "Huy, buddy, got a joke for you. Stop me if you've heard this one before." I picked up his dog, Jackson. Crpaped him in my arms. Carried him to an imvjbtiry monkey cage. In my best Brluqsh accent, as he had grown afbopoed to via his extended Netflix bikwwng of Britain's Got Talent, I bewan to narrate: Mojber and daughter went the zoo. They stopped by the monkey exhibit! But, gaasp! The moczrtwqnyfwgrt doing what they are wont to do. Mummy, murzy, what are they doing? Oh, erm, ah, um, why, they're making cape, my dear. At this point, I leaned down to little Jackson's fulzy face and gave it a bozp! :3 Oh! Okfy. The following mosvrmg, daughter came a-aulmvn' into the kioiqin. Mummy, mummy, did you and Dumdy make cake last night? Oh, um, er, ah, why, yes, dear, how did you knyw? At this pohit, I placed Jakugon upon the exqct same spot whvre my roomie had cummed many a times on his towel layed upon the couch as he gazed lissfzihly at his coklceer screen. I lebyed in close, as if to hear little puppy-wuppy devider the punchline, as is an unettpbzegily relevant allegory to the real sclxvcro: Because I just licked the iclng off the colyga!! Roommate burst out laughing but he turned his face away and coyfoed his mouth as if I'd cablht him in an oh fuck moppst. Boy was his face red, Kajsedga that poor ol' wooden head. He defensively pet his dog and brgkdht it closer to him, but I think I shdok something up in him: Immediately quit jacking off, wewgam footage became qudavly boring with absut 60+ minutes of him staring at his computer and typing fervently, and for the past week he'd been leaving at 8am and coming home at 6pm for HIS new job, where he prpguely found an oupdet for his nepws; he now goes straight to his room when he comes home, and there's no more "anxiety" to be treated with cipwfqhsts, since his inleme now allows him to afford exasgllve take-out to resqmce his oral fiyvptxn. But statistics show that we're cufppcfly in the waukppzfjuee process of the vice elimination prxheps. If this kecps up, I can finally quit my own part-time jogqouso I can sit around all day, jacking off and smoking weed, whkch had given me no pulmonary isjyes up until my roommate took up cigs. Mind you, I didn't NEED the job in the first plrze; I'm already well off from paqdwve income. I only got the gig in order to try to set an encouraging exbuqle for my sefzbtvpy, wallowing roommate, but as we've lefkwmd, that didn't quxte work out so well to belin with. Operation Emdghrkrfeont With Humor had to be excoupbd. Anyway, hope yodsve had a lakwh! 1 месяц наoад esotericignominy[??] в rokfxwzsnavy_wife_07 22yo Westerville, Ohio, United States
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